There are professing Christians who have a secret life. They have quietly constructed their private world. They sneak away and enjoy their choice sin. The rest of the time they play the part of a true believer.
You have others who to this are a mirror. They believe, but it is a secret. They pretend to be a sinner and they pretend so hard to make us believe it. They wear their iniquity like a costume. In private, they are miserable, tormented by their betrayal not only of their Saviour, but of who they truly are. They are guilt ridden, arrogant and defensive to the point of psychosis. Mostly they are tired, exhausted by pretending.
Of both, I wonder, what would happen if they quit pretending? What if the secret sinner shamefully let the fig leaves fall to the ground? What if the secret believer recovered their candle from under the bed? I wonder what would happen?
I think the one may discover that their pretend Christianity is just that. Their immediate relief turns to terror and they may for the first time find Christ.
The other, I believe, would finally be able to sleep. Their immediate fear would turn to joy and they may for the first time love Christ.
I could be wrong, but one thing we know is neither one is happy or holy. Nor can they be.
Are you pretending to be something you’re not? Are you a secret sinner? Are you a secret believer? You’ve tried to fake it ‘til you make it, but you should take the mask off now before you wake up old and realise there is no such thing as making it.
I know you have your reasons, but the longer you wear that costume the thinner it becomes and people are beginning to see through it. I encourage you my friend, come clean. Being honest about who you are is the first step to becoming who you ought. Whether you are lost or saved, there is no real joy, and no joy that is real in pretending.